Recently I applied for what I thought might be my dream job with my alma mater that would take me back to an area where I really enjoyed living. The position was Director of Alumni Engagement for the agriculture school. I spent countless hours on the application–talking to people familiar with the position, writing the perfect cover letter and resume, and asking friends to proofread. I know a lot of people who work in the department and on the search committee, so applying alone was really putting myself out there. I had left seven years ago and here I was applying for a job to come back. I felt oh-so-vulnerable.
I spent the next several weeks considering what a move back to central Illinois would look like, thinking of ideas to implement in the position, rehearsing how I would answer interview questions, sorting through what points I would want to address in an interview, talking to some fellow alumni about their engagement level with our alma mater, jotting down questions I would want to ask about the working environment, considering how much of a pay cut I would be willing to take for a role that seemed meant for me…I did not even get an initial interview. Ouch.
My initial emotional reaction was feelings of hurt from rejection, disrespect as an alumna, and just plain stupidity for believing that they were as excited for me to apply as I was to lead alumni engagement. I talked to a few people as soon as I found out–I needed to vent and hear it was the college’s loss. This is not the first time where there hasn’t been mutual excitement from a potential employer and that has always worked out for the best in the past. So I continued to remind myself of that and that I would find meaning in the rejection eventually. I also kept thinking of Brene Brown reminding us that if we are going to put ourselves out there in life, we will get our ass kicked from time to time. And while this experience was not fun emotionally, I know it’s a step for me in practicing vulnerability.
Determined to find meaning, or gifts, in this rejection, my leadership coach gave me three areas to consider:
- Knowledge. When I feel confident that something is right for me, I go all in. As I mentioned, I spent a fair amount of time thinking through a move back to central Illinois. While it’s really difficult not to let your mind go there, I will carry this feeling with me as a reminder to proceed with caution in the future. I don’t know who gets credit for the quote, “Never let a good crisis go to waste” but it’s quite true. This was far from a crisis, but I will not waste lessons learned.
- Strength. It’s been a long time since I have dealt with job rejection. While this one initially stung, I do hope it strengthens my ability to handle future rejections. Because there will be future rejections if I want to keep putting myself out there. And that’s okay.
- Inspiration. I have been considering making a pretty significant pivot in my career and life. This role would have been going back to the familiar–that whole “definition of insanity” reminder applies nicely. I am looking for different results and this rejection set me back on my path to seek completely new opportunities.
Ironically my phone rang the other day with an unknown number that had a central Illinois area code. I couldn’t answer so my mind went to, “What if it’s them bringing in more candidates to interview because they weren’t happy with the first round people?” And you know what? I quickly decided I wouldn’t even take an interview because it wasn’t the right path for me. I later listened to the voicemail and it was a financial representative wanting to update my contact information, but it resulted in much-needed mental closure for me. In the spirit of practicing gratitude, I would like to thank my alma mater for the rejection–you’ve helped me in more ways than you know.
the single minimal(ist) 