The reason I included the word “single” in the title of my blog is because I wanted to touch on the ups and downs of navigating life in an unconventional manner. I grew up in rural Illinois–not marrying and having kids is very out of the ordinary there. Of course divorces are not uncommon, which is how I want to respond when people there find it odd I never married…but I digress.
One of the cons of being single is not having a built-in support system at all times. Someone to tell your stories to daily. A person who lifts you up when you’ve been knocked down and restores confidence. And even someone to question whether you really need that dessert! While studies show time and again that relationships in life are crucial, maintaining them is becoming increasingly harder. In a world of social media, it seems many feel being “friends” on social media is enough.
Years ago, we used to write letters to distant friends and family. When cell phones and packages with monthly minutes were introduced, we called one another (and people would return calls when missed!) Now we exchange occasional text messages and hope for a return text, which doesn’t always happen. This has been a struggle for me. I rely on friends and family to be my support system and I take it personally when calls or texts go unreturned. I also hopelessly await being celebrated for moments that are big in my life (completing my first multi-day backpack, finishing another half marathon, turning 40) but pale in comparison to marriage and kids to others. This is the main reason why I’m drawn to city living–I’ve found a group of friends on similar, unconventional paths (hooray for SINKs and DINKs!) But unfortunately regardless of who I befriend, growing and maintaining relationships seems to be a dying art.
So if you have a single friend or relative…reply to the text, return the call, or perhaps even write them a letter expressing what they mean to you.
the single minimal(ist) 